Art of Growing Old

It’s amazing what drives every single action you take each day. Whether it be taking the time to make your lunch for the day or deciding you’ll “order something healthy” they spiral their way back into your mind as you wind down at night. Sometimes they don’t hit you until the day after but they’ll always make their way back. Hell, I’m still wondering about my decision to stay home sick back in 8th grade.

This chain of events is obviously closed tied with your memories. My memories are almost always tangled with incomprehensible lingering emotions that are spontaneously triggered through music. The right key will transport me over oceans and years and bombard me with emotions that are just as confusing now as they were back then.

Perhaps I’ll find the key to take me to a place where my beliefs held their ground and I stood for something bigger than me and my heart and mind longed for more than the things of this world. I’m facing myself this weekend and realizing why it is that I don’t do this more often.

Do you ever wonder what happened to that person you always imagined yourself growing into? I’d like to meet him someday. Maybe he’d have a broader spectrum of knowledge and have a more active role in promoting the ideals that I tend to keep hidden. I’d like to think that we could be friends. We could sit down over coffee and he could tell me the things that I’m so obviously lacking but can’t ever quite pinpoint. It’d be an enlightening conversation I’m sure.

I’ve been reading a fascinating book today called Blue Like Jazz. The most clever description I’ve come across for it is: “Nonreligious thoughts on christian spirituality”. It might just be the only christian book that I’ve truly enjoyed since…well, EVER. I’m only half-way through but I’m sure I’ll finish it up soon enough and have plenty to discuss. In the meantime, I’ll continue to make time away from the office and away from my career. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually go on a date soon? Assuming I can find someone that is…