Joshua Arnold

I’m at the airport a little early and I had time to trim my fingernails this morning. I’ve got a new haircut, my shirt is still unwrinkled and I’ve got some great tasting chapstick in my pocket. If that’s not enough, Jack’s Mannequin is soothing my ears as I’m getting ready for one heck of a week.

It’s amazing how our perspectives, no matter how simple they may be, can complicate our lives. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to strap on a backpack and embark on an adventure with my guitar in my hand. Sure things can get stressful (it’s in their nature, right?) but do we really need to dwell on issues and make them our lives?

I think December dug its roots deep this year. It really is the turning point for all of us, you know? We come together and are inevitably forced to reflect on our lives.

What have we done?

Where have we been?

Who are we?

Where are going?

Who do we want to be?

The last question is the one that gets us the most. More often than not, I’m driven by my passions and I find myself being the person that I “should be” in order to pursue these passions. What I’m finding lately is that this isn’t necessarily the person that I am. I wish I could have these two personas meet. I wonder what they would think of one another.

If you could describe me in one word, what would it be? I think I would choose ambitious. Or maybe it would passionate. Ambitious seems to cover more ground because my ambition is driven by my passion. Arguably, I’m ambitious to a fault.

I think that if you compared my current self to who I was a year ago the most notable difference would be that I’ve finally discovered balance. I’m learning to spread my ambition to span more than just my career and finding other things to occupy my time. I love my work and that’s typically why I’ve chosen to make it my number one priority but there’s just more to life than that, you know?

I’m making time to do more than work this year. In fact, here is my 2009 to-do list (in no particular order):

1. Take pictures of Christmas lights

2. Photography Outings

3. Camping

4. Boating/Wakeboarding

5. Read

6. Write More

7. Get better at Guitar

8. Find a coffee shop and become a regular

9. Outdoor Activities (hiking)

10. Explore the shops on South Congress

11. Shooting

12. Go to a Longhorns game

13. Play more board games

14. Get more involved in church

15. Start a young-professional’s bible study and fellowship

16. Go ice skating

17. Go to concerts

18. Perform at an open mic night

19. Visit museums

20. Visit art galleries

21. Visit more poetry slams

22. Visit Boston

23. Tailgate a UT game

24. Paintball

It’s a work in progress (especially since I tend to add a new item every day). Some of them are very short-term (take pictures of Christmas lights, for example) but it’s really just a list of things that I want to explore outside of the 9-5.

What’s on your list?

Technorati Tags: 2009 adventures, airports, reflections, traveling

I’ve spent the months since my first attempt at this series doing two things: 1) reading and 2) reflecting. I know I’ve been quiet about this topic for some time now (4 months?) but I’ve been gathering the information that I’ve needed to come to my own conclusions. Now that I feel like I’ve come to some sort of blinding realization, I am inspired and driven to share my findings.

I’ve read tons of articles that relate specifically to some fun new terms I’ll inevitably be throwing around:

• The Emerging Church
• The Evangelical Left

Before I continue further with any of this, let me say this:

Regardless of how you stumbled upon my blog, I implore you to read my writings knowing that I do not intend to judge or belittle the traditional church; nor do I intend to create any hostility by stating my opinions. Instead, I simply intend to communicate my experiences over the past few months in hopes that they help even one person.

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My journey started a few months ago. A dear friend of mine sent me a text and asked me about my relationship with God. Now if you’re not familiar with my story then just know this: our friendship had always been a struggle. In fact, this was the one of the few times we had spoken since an argument that we had over half a year beforehand. Needless to say, a question like that had some weight coming from her. The question was a simple one but it still managed to establish a nice home for itself in the back of my mind.

Faith is a constant struggle because it forces you to rely on something other than yourself. I had been making some serious steps towards strengthening my beliefs but my problem stemmed from this basic fact. I wanted to be able to tell her that things were going great and that God and I had never been happier but I didn’t want to lie. Instead, I told her that I’ve been struggling but it’s going better than it has in the past.

Random phone calls are always enjoyable. I was busy working on some ideas that I had for work and I was finally in the zone when my phone started ringing. A text message from her was surprising but a phone call was shocking. I answered with the hope that I wouldn’t regret doing so and was met with the voice of someone new. The newfound passion she had for God absolutely blew me away. After hearing her story, I was inspired. I had to change, I wanted to change and I was going to start that very second.

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I’ve never been fond of Christian-terminology. It makes me feel like I’m making a ton of inside jokes and expecting the world to understand them. It’s not intended to be exclusive but that doesn’t change the fact that it is. On top of that, it has the tendency to make me sound a little crazy. When I’m struggling with my faith, the last thing I need is to have the rituals make me sound like a nut. I’m not saying that I don’t agree with the terminology; I just think it takes away some of the realism.

I don’t like to put God in a box; I just think he’s far too powerful to fit inside of one. I also don’t like it when people try to analyze him rather than just getting to know him. He’s not very far away. Sure, his reputation might come off as a little intimidating but he’s really quite lovely once you get to know him. He’s always ready and willing to have a little chat. I think that when you take away some of the realism, you forget the most important piece of the puzzle: God is real.

I think religion has a way of brainwashing you. The moment you find yourself doing something out of habit and for a reason that you explain as “because we’ve always done it this way”, I think that means there’s something wrong. Routine means that things are calculated, outlined, and rational. I don’t think it’s fair to God to turn our relationship with him into a routine. He loves us enough to give up everything and we repay him by saying repetitive prayers, lighting candles, and having someone else apologize to him for the times that we’ve hurt him. You’d think the least we could do is talk to him directly and say “I’m sorry”.

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I want you to know that God is real and that we are pretty close friends now. There are times when I’m difficult to deal with or I think that he’s being unfair, but we always work it out together. He’s really something else when you take the time to have a chat with him.

He’s not afraid to tell the world about our friendship. Shouldn’t I do the same?

Technorati Tags: 2009 adventures, discoveries, finding my faith, reflections, religion, spirituality