We’re in Montgomery, Alabama and getting ready to hit that final stretch to Austin. Last night was pretty rough, but mostly because we were running off of pretty much no sleep. We got some good rest today so we should be fine until tomorrow morning.
Austin here we come ;).
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It was never something that I could quite put into words. I desperately grasped for words that were suitable placeholders for the thoughts and emotions. I may never have come close to capturing it, but the search inspired a wide variety of ramblings. Perhaps I was too naive to see it; maybe it was my immaturity that prevented me from understanding it. Whatever the case may be, the curtains have been drawn this evening.
The better explanation may be that I knew what would happen if I truly understood that I was never really chasing anything. To be more specific, I was chasing a void that I had warped and twisted into my blinding definition of reality, of existence, and the universe itself.
If you imagined it as a string, it would be the one that thing linked me to so many of the people that I know. It would be my one link to forgotten memories and sensations that I quickly outgrew so many years ago. No, it was much more than this. It was more than a link to this “missed childhood” that I tend to speak so negatively of, but have never truly regretted for an instant. It was my escape from the pressures of adulthood that I, despite my maturity, was never truly ready for.
The conclusion from a glance into my recent reflection: I’m reforming my reason for writing. I once considered myself as observant; I had lost that until very recently.
It’s an interesting thing to come face to face with reality. The ridiculous part about it is that you thought you were staring at it the entire time. Sometimes it’s like waking from a night of perfect sleep. Other times it’s like getting hit with a semi-truck. The situation at hand, sadly, is the latter. It’s the foundation of a suite of daydreams and the final touches on the worst nightmare you’ll have in years. Regardless of the circumstances, I believe every one of you has experienced exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the realization that your world is upside down and even though you think you saw it coming, you never knew how drastic it would be. We learn, we grow, and we adapt but it doesn’t take away from the profoundness of the moment.
It’s like I was looking in the buildings for my reflection. I was waiting for that moment where you see yourself in a whole new light and everything changes from your side. I was privileged enough to feel it from both ends this time around. I saw my reflection in the beauty of the skyline. There’s something about unplanned travel that gets me. It’s one thing to plan your getaway to some foreign land, but it can be equally as invigorating to have a day to pack before hitting the streets of NYC and finding yourself wandering Times Square.
It was the quite an experience and, even though it could have been better, it was exactly what I needed. City lights get me every time. Soon I’ll be staring at the lights of Tokyo again. Until then, however, I’m content with where I am.
Enjoy some pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/rnCodePoet/MyNewYorkAdventure
