Sub-cultures tend to multiply at an astounding rate and the pastimes change so quickly that it makes my head spin. We have coping mechanisms for our inability to keep up: “It’s a trend,” “It’s a phase.”  Surely these are true, but I can’t help but wonder if they’re at least partially self-fulfilling prophecies.

I’m almost tempted to question my uniqueness in this world when someone greets me with some sort of gesture that I could’ve sworn I created. It’s mind boggling to consider the odds of both of us creating some new greeting and meeting each other. While it helps make this world feel a little smaller, it certainly does not help demystify the complexity of this universe we live in.

I think we drastically underestimate the complexity of our lives and the decisions that we make on a daily basis. I know this because my job is to model these decisions and automate them whenever possible. Believe me; you’d be surprised how much information is needed to make even a simple and objective decision.

Personally, I believe there’s a beauty in the art of modeling these complex decision making processes. The art and perhaps the underlying creative process is obviously vastly different than their traditional understanding, but it’s hard to argue the comparison when you’ve worked with some of the people I’ve had the privilege of assisting. Each of these individuals has had their own special way of approaching situations and creating the designs that help piece the puzzle together.

Problem solvers, designers, happy-hour groupies, and poets; I’m surrounded by representatives of so many of these sub-cultures and there are only 15 people in my immediate view. A man to my left is developing something in Java and the women to my right are blowing off some steam from what was obviously a tough week. No, I wasn’t eavesdropping; I believe the shots of tequila were a clear enough sign.

Some come for the atmosphere, some enjoy the company, and others just didn’t feel like sitting at home. Everybody here has their own take on the world and it’s always so different. I mention the obvious because sometimes I find myself wrapped up in my own world and I find myself spending my time modeling decisions instead of making them.  In fact, I get so wrapped up in what I’m doing that I get a little lost.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to strike up a conversation and say whatever’s on my mind. It’d probably go something like this:

I enjoy a nice cup of coffee, I spend too much time trying to understand everything, and someday I’ll grow up and be a little more grounded. What’s your story?

Technorati Tags: babbling, coffee, experimental, realizations, reflections, slightly lost

It’s a long and very intensive process to ensure that we end up with what we really need.

I originally thought that I was going to write about what I was working on this evening. Well, it’s actually what I’ve been working on for the past few months. It’s just truly amazing how long it takes to really get anything done.

We’re working on some exciting new features and working with a lot of exciting technologies. Sometimes it’s just frustrating how much of the leg work needs to get done before I can actually start doing the FUN stuff. It’s getting there but it’ll be about another week until I can get there.

This week is going to be a busy one. I doubt that I’ll get much time to write until next week (not unlike last week although last week I had time and just couldn’t find anything truly interesting to write about). I’ll be working with the exciting technologies and might have some things to show by then as well.

I finished the book I wrote about last time: Blue Like Jazz.
I’ll be writing about that very soon as well as some of the open mics I’ll be visiting soon.

Love to All,
Josh

Technorati Tags: coffee, informative, music, reflections, updates, work

My life has changed so drastically this year that it’s hard to keep up. That’s not a complaint by any means. In fact, this is the first time I’ve been truly happy with my position since Neumont. I’ve been given an unexpected amount of authority on this project and while it’s certainly intimidating, I am loving every second of it. Contracts are still being worked out but I hope to be able to give some information about it before our launch date. Either way, I’ll post the live address on June 1st for all to see.

I have some inspiration today to write something creative so please forgive this random post. I thought I’d get some brief updates in before I get some work done today. I’ll be writing something more interesting sometime tonight.

Technorati Tags: announcement, atb, career, coffee, updates, work

The better explanation may be that I knew what would happen if I truly understood that I was never really chasing anything. To be more specific, I was chasing a void that I had warped and twisted into my blinding definition of reality, of existence, and the universe itself.

If you imagined it as a string, it would be the one that thing linked me to so many of the people that I know. It would be my one link to forgotten memories and sensations that I quickly outgrew so many years ago. No, it was much more than this. It was more than a link to this “missed childhood” that I tend to speak so negatively of, but have never truly regretted for an instant. It was my escape from the pressures of adulthood that I, despite my maturity, was never truly ready for.

The conclusion from a glance into my recent reflection: I’m reforming my reason for writing. I once considered myself as observant; I had lost that until very recently.

Technorati Tags: 2008 adventures, announcement, career, coffee, realizations, traveling

So, this morning I woke up bright and early: 3:23am. I have absolute no idea why I woke up and I definitely can’t figure out why I wasn’t able to get to sleep afterwards. At least I had a fairly productive morning and I’ve been able to relax for a few hours before going to work. I still have a little over an hour actually.

I feel like having a great conversation. Unfortunately, everyone here (coffee shop) is talking on their headsets or actively participating in their own discussions. I have this craving to debate over issues that really matter to me. Whether it be politics, religion, technology, I don’t really care what the topic is. I just get so bored of small talk and the various other forms of b.s. you get everyday.

I miss getting passionate about design patterns and trying to force them on Ryan, ha ha. I miss the various discussions I’d have with Dave and how I would learn something new every time – even if it started with me explaining something to him. I miss the random thoughts that Rex and I would write on the huge white board and all of the miscellaneous projects we would start but never quite finish. I swear, I wish we all worked together. The possibilities really would be endless.

Even the small talk wasn’t bad at Neumont. We didn’t always have to be talking about something too intense. I had a great group of close friends and we got to watch each other grow in our skill sets and excel in the things we’re passionate about. It was really was the greatest two years of my life. I just wish it didn’t go by so fast.

I’m noticing that it might be one of those experiences that no one else can understand. Our way of thinking is so different than everyone else I’ve encountered. It’s hard to explain my experience in segments because I honestly believe that everything I learned is connected. It’s hard to explain taking XML with Matt Curland without jumping into how it helped me in NORMA. It’s hard to talk about NORMA without having to explain ORM…and the cycle continues forever.

I miss it all. That’s not to say that I’m not happy where I am, quite the contrary actually. I’m just realizing that I keep looking for what I had. More importantly, I’m realizing that I’m not going to find it. That’s ok, though.

It’s just all the more reason to bring us back together.

Technorati Tags: coffee, neumont, rev-net