Viewing entries in the tag "december". Show all entries

How Far We’ve Come

14 12 2008

We stared in awe as she approached us. We rested on our knees and our eyes became intimately familiar with the concrete beneath us. As she continued past us, we sat in silence until I finally rose to my feet. We continued in silence for quite some time as we began to consider the depth of the experience.

It’s a box labeled “world travel” but I know that it’s more than that. It’s a collection of everything that has made me who I am.

There aren’t enough photos to communicate these experiences and it’s not something that I can explain to you over a cup of coffee. I’m afraid it would take a lifetime to scratch the surface of what happened to all of us four years ago.

It’s become a part of me and I often take advantage of it. On the other hand, the joy of reminiscing over it all when I do remember might just make up for that. More often than not, it’s looking over clouds at 40,000 feet and remembering what it was like to look over the ocean and wondering what was in store at our next stop.

It makes you question everything about yourself and it removes you from the selfishness that we all seem to have instilled in us since birth. If there’s one thing I wish I would always remember, it would be that sensation of selflessness that we all experienced.

I’m beginning to wonder what it will be like to see everyone this holiday season. I’m certainly not the same person that everyone is expecting to reconnect with. I wonder how many of my expectations will be just as misplaced. I suppose that’s part of the excitement though, isn’t it?

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Pre-Holiday Reflections

30 11 2008

From well-formed metaphors to a variety of clever one-liners, we characterize our lives in words that people often find to be more than its cracked up to be. There seems to be this innate tendency of cynicism we fallback on when it comes to being content with our lives, is there not? There are ways around this, I’m sure, but why is it that we have to try so hard?

I’m a sucker for Ben Gibbard, vanilla soy lattes and a room full of strangers. It’s not about the companionship (otherwise I’d be far more motivated to join them in conversation), it’s the reminder of the diversity that exists around me. As I listen to Such Great Heights and tap my feet along to the beat, a couple casually sits down on the couch to my left and relaxes. They cuddle up in front of the freshly lit candle and begin to exchange stories that invoke laughter and comfort.

I suppose it’s safe to say that I tend to find others lives far more interesting than my own. Given the small number of people in this room with me, I wonder how many of them have a similar point of view. How about religion? Music? I think we take our common interests for granted more often than not.

The holidays are around the corner, again, and I’m not the man I used to be. I remember the thoughts, emotions, and actions of the person I was one year ago today and it’s amazing to think about how far I’ve come. I wonder what it would be like to share a cup of coffee with you, old friend. Would we still get along with as much as we’ve all changed?

It was my year for adventures, growth, and accomplishments and believe me: I’ve had plenty of all three. God has blessed me with a unique position in the company that I am working for, I’ve learned from my past experiences and grown from each of them, and thanks to a dear friend of mine I’m pushing through various struggles in my faith.

I hope all is well with each of you and I hope to see you soon.

Love to All,
Josh

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New Years & Armageddon

31 12 2007

Tonight I wiped the slate clean.

It’s that phrase that has stood out in my notebook for years. It’s also been the phrase that has intimidated me every time I’ve approached it. Perhaps it was a fear of what it truly meant or maybe it was the responsibility comes with it.

I vaguely recall winter nights being much more forgiving. The mornings seemed to stretch a little longer, smiles came more naturally, and I never felt like this.

Have you ever felt your life building up around one pivotal moment that never seems to happen? I think friendships can be defined by big moments that don’t happen. It’s nothing short of your own personal Armageddon.

You start counting down the number of people that mean more to you than a colloquial greeting. Growing apart is a strange feeling. I’m always amazed at how natural the whole process is. Whether you’ve known each other all of your life or bonded over random events that your conversations always revolve around, it’s inevitable, it’s treacherous, it’s bullshit, and it’s glorious.

Tapping into the raw portions of my mind is so painful anymore. Well-formed phrases are great for your romantic moments but that’s obviously not a part of my life right now so why should I? I’ll spend my time furthering some other area of my life and spend less time forming the empty words that make you fall.

It’s borderline insanity to be perfectly honest. You dwell on particular situations and make yourself sick to your stomach. Some drink to make the memories fade away faster and others find equally damaging vices. I think this time I’ll choose to indulge in new experiences see how quickly I can pull myself into the brand new holes that I’ve dug.

I won’t waste your time if you won’t waste mine. I’m starting my new year’s resolutions and this year my first goal is to learn from all of this.

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Happy Holidays

26 12 2007

I’ve been spending time with the family and friends and just really enjoying the holidays this year. I hope to be back with some entries soon.

I’m looking forward to hearing about everyone’s holidays ^_^.

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A little more of Christmas

17 12 2007

Maybe the second time around will be slightly more productive. Sometimes I write five opening paragraphs before I find the one that will eventually lead to more. That might not be fair to say. I think they would each lead to an entry by themselves but it’s a matter of how I truly feel at the time…or perhaps it’s the feelings that I want to convey because I’m sure each one is just as real as the other.

I find it difficult to write about something that’s universally interesting – perhaps this stems from my desire to have some sort of “popular blog” that people would want to read on a daily basis. That may very well happen someday when I find that one thing that everyone wants to read about. Until then, you can enjoy the entries that will lead up to it.

Sometimes I like to steal a line from the song of the day and run with it. It’s not that I feel I could do better. No, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. The truth is, I don’t believe anyone can do it better and I like to contribute what it truly means to me.

“The time has come for colds and overcoats”

Maybe it’s a feeling we all get this time of year or perhaps it’s simply something that I wish we could all share. It’s that glimmering hope of the magic of the season. It’s the morning you wake up and smell the change in weather. It’s that night you drive passed post-Thanksgiving decorations and feel December.

Everything’s a little more of everything. The air is a little colder and the nights are a little longer.

I’d like to think that everything’s a little more wonderful.

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