Joshua Arnold

I’ve spent the months since my first attempt at this series doing two things: 1) reading and 2) reflecting. I know I’ve been quiet about this topic for some time now (4 months?) but I’ve been gathering the information that I’ve needed to come to my own conclusions. Now that I feel like I’ve come to some sort of blinding realization, I am inspired and driven to share my findings.

I’ve read tons of articles that relate specifically to some fun new terms I’ll inevitably be throwing around:

• The Emerging Church
• The Evangelical Left

Before I continue further with any of this, let me say this:

Regardless of how you stumbled upon my blog, I implore you to read my writings knowing that I do not intend to judge or belittle the traditional church; nor do I intend to create any hostility by stating my opinions. Instead, I simply intend to communicate my experiences over the past few months in hopes that they help even one person.

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My journey started a few months ago. A dear friend of mine sent me a text and asked me about my relationship with God. Now if you’re not familiar with my story then just know this: our friendship had always been a struggle. In fact, this was the one of the few times we had spoken since an argument that we had over half a year beforehand. Needless to say, a question like that had some weight coming from her. The question was a simple one but it still managed to establish a nice home for itself in the back of my mind.

Faith is a constant struggle because it forces you to rely on something other than yourself. I had been making some serious steps towards strengthening my beliefs but my problem stemmed from this basic fact. I wanted to be able to tell her that things were going great and that God and I had never been happier but I didn’t want to lie. Instead, I told her that I’ve been struggling but it’s going better than it has in the past.

Random phone calls are always enjoyable. I was busy working on some ideas that I had for work and I was finally in the zone when my phone started ringing. A text message from her was surprising but a phone call was shocking. I answered with the hope that I wouldn’t regret doing so and was met with the voice of someone new. The newfound passion she had for God absolutely blew me away. After hearing her story, I was inspired. I had to change, I wanted to change and I was going to start that very second.

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I’ve never been fond of Christian-terminology. It makes me feel like I’m making a ton of inside jokes and expecting the world to understand them. It’s not intended to be exclusive but that doesn’t change the fact that it is. On top of that, it has the tendency to make me sound a little crazy. When I’m struggling with my faith, the last thing I need is to have the rituals make me sound like a nut. I’m not saying that I don’t agree with the terminology; I just think it takes away some of the realism.

I don’t like to put God in a box; I just think he’s far too powerful to fit inside of one. I also don’t like it when people try to analyze him rather than just getting to know him. He’s not very far away. Sure, his reputation might come off as a little intimidating but he’s really quite lovely once you get to know him. He’s always ready and willing to have a little chat. I think that when you take away some of the realism, you forget the most important piece of the puzzle: God is real.

I think religion has a way of brainwashing you. The moment you find yourself doing something out of habit and for a reason that you explain as “because we’ve always done it this way”, I think that means there’s something wrong. Routine means that things are calculated, outlined, and rational. I don’t think it’s fair to God to turn our relationship with him into a routine. He loves us enough to give up everything and we repay him by saying repetitive prayers, lighting candles, and having someone else apologize to him for the times that we’ve hurt him. You’d think the least we could do is talk to him directly and say “I’m sorry”.

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I want you to know that God is real and that we are pretty close friends now. There are times when I’m difficult to deal with or I think that he’s being unfair, but we always work it out together. He’s really something else when you take the time to have a chat with him.

He’s not afraid to tell the world about our friendship. Shouldn’t I do the same?

Technorati Tags: 2009 adventures, discoveries, finding my faith, reflections, religion, spirituality

From well-formed metaphors to a variety of clever one-liners, we characterize our lives in words that people often find to be more than its cracked up to be. There seems to be this innate tendency of cynicism we fallback on when it comes to being content with our lives, is there not? There are ways around this, I’m sure, but why is it that we have to try so hard?

I’m a sucker for Ben Gibbard, vanilla soy lattes and a room full of strangers. It’s not about the companionship (otherwise I’d be far more motivated to join them in conversation), it’s the reminder of the diversity that exists around me. As I listen to Such Great Heights and tap my feet along to the beat, a couple casually sits down on the couch to my left and relaxes. They cuddle up in front of the freshly lit candle and begin to exchange stories that invoke laughter and comfort.

I suppose it’s safe to say that I tend to find others lives far more interesting than my own. Given the small number of people in this room with me, I wonder how many of them have a similar point of view. How about religion? Music? I think we take our common interests for granted more often than not.

The holidays are around the corner, again, and I’m not the man I used to be. I remember the thoughts, emotions, and actions of the person I was one year ago today and it’s amazing to think about how far I’ve come. I wonder what it would be like to share a cup of coffee with you, old friend. Would we still get along with as much as we’ve all changed?

It was my year for adventures, growth, and accomplishments and believe me: I’ve had plenty of all three. God has blessed me with a unique position in the company that I am working for, I’ve learned from my past experiences and grown from each of them, and thanks to a dear friend of mine I’m pushing through various struggles in my faith.

I hope all is well with each of you and I hope to see you soon.

Love to All,
Josh

Technorati Tags: austin, career, december, discoveries, holidays, holidays 2008, reflections

I had originally planned on writing about Blue Like Jazz in its entirety but I’ve finally come to realize that it just isn’t something that I can do. I’ve been struggling to wrap my head around my thoughts and feelings about my latest read and, well, it’s not something that can be wrapped up in a single entry. It’s a continuing process of change and understanding. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that I barely took the first step today.

I think I’ll randomly take excerpts from chapters and explain how they’ve affected me. My dad is the one that recommended I read this – in fact, he bought a copy and had it shipped to me so I kind of felt obligated to read it. You see, him and I have both struggled with the modern-day church (a topic I ranted about some time ago). He told me that this book helped him wrap his head around a lot of his issues and thought that it could be of help to me as well.

I reluctantly opened to the first page and began my search for something that pissed me off. This is something I always do when I’m not exactly “excited” to do it. The first chapter was void of any of my pet peeves so I decided that I would give it a shot (and by “give it a shot”, I meant continue my search in chapter two).

“I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God. I was into habit. I grew up going to church, so I got used to hearing about God.”

The author had me with this one. “It was an interesting way to open the second chapter”, I thought to myself. “No, that’s not it”, I mumbled as I continued to figure out why this statement was so captivating. It happened to be a combination of a couple of things. I’ve lowered my view of my fellow “believers”, if you will, to such a point that I almost find it amazing when they say something that truly moves me. It’s the repetitive and blinding routines that seem to suck away all traces of intellectual thoughts. This one was even more interesting to me as it’s something that I had been thinking for quite some time. It was one of those issues I had that I just couldn’t put my finger on: there really can be something WRONG with being that religious.

In this chapter alone, he began to bring the concepts of Christianity to a level of humility that I could actually relate with him. Taking a very neutral stance from his faith, he very calmly and clearly stated that there is something wrong with our image and practices.  He apologized for the wrongs that I firmly believe 99% of all Christians are guilty of and convinced me that he had something genuinely interesting to say. He didn’t sound like he was writing this as a preacher and he sure as hell didn’t sound like he grew up in a temple. Instead, there was dialog that happened in every day places over current events, and broke the taboos that infuriate me.

I was officially hooked after the second chapter. I wanted to hear more from this man that clearly knew things that I didn’t. He had managed to find a way to accept his faith and not throw away his mind or his happiness. Not only that, but he still managed to present himself as someone that I would love to have a deep conversation with over coffee and not someone that I would never want to be seen with in public.

As if that wasn’t enough, I’ll leave you with the words from that back cover of the book:

“For anyone wondering if the Christian faith is still relevant in a
post-modern culture,
For anyone thirsting for a genuine encounter with a God who is real,
For anyone yearning for a renewed sense of passion in life…”

Technorati Tags: 2008 adventures, discoveries, finding my faith, reflections, religion

It’s very rare that I stumble upon a song that really moves me. That’s not to say that I’m not deeply in love with a lot of the music that I listen to — I rarely listen to music that I’m not infatuated with. There are some songs, however, that just resonate in my ears at a level that’s just so different than any other. Whenever I find a song like this, I have to learn how to sing it and I have to learn how to play it. My most recent obsession has been a cover of Upwards Over the Mountain by Jesse Lacey — originally performed by Iron & Wine.

I am making it a point to create my own versions of these discoveries from now on. I usually do it in the privacy of my own home but I’m going a little more public with it. I will post them here for everyone as I make them. I’ll start them off with my cover of Upwards Over The Mountain:

The others are covered so frequently that I’m not incredibly motivated to make my own versions.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Technorati Tags: acoustic, brand new, covers, discoveries, experimental, iron and wine, music